avantgardes | Locked to diamondo

Locked to diamondo

[Memories were a strange thing, Sayaka was beginning to find out.

"...That's right. You are, aren't you...? Makoto Naegi, was it?"
"Hey, you two! Your conversation is too long! Are you planning to spend--"
"--all day introducing ourselves? No, of course not! I was just--"
"What?! How did you know what I was going to say?!"
"Ah--didn't I just tell you I had good intuitions?"

Sayaka had frozen up there, definitely taken aback by the first thing that came out of her mouth--she didn't even get the chance to speak to Naegi again before he moved on to Leon, and that was...definitely something that gave her an unintentionally eerie vibe. She was honestly kind of thankful that things were swiftly forgotten once Monobear entered the scene. Everything else that came out of her mouth just felt right at that point--like things were what they were supposed to be.

That sense of normality lasted for a few days, until Monobear decided to get a little creative. There were DVDs--hers, her dearest friends, splayed on the floor with Monobear himself on the monitors. She'd screamed. She ran like her life depended on it, away from everyone who wanted her to say something to them. She couldn't handle it. She ran into the nearest classroom, sitting on a desk and just...stared into nothingness. She had to do something--she had to get out of there, she had to leave at all costs. She'd lose her career if she didn't, right? She had to do something--

"Sayaka, look at who you're talking to. I'm definitely not here to judge your actions. Sometimes life throws you into unfair situations and you do what you must to survive. Or attempt to survive. Though I'm sure you wouldn't have been as eager if you would have known, right?"

"Hey... What're you doing with all that again? Even if you hadn't, someone would've started it up. Blame yourself for... For what happened back home, and Mallick, and you, but not the rest of us. I'm not...saying you didn't screw up. I'll never do that. But like, it's not fair, you know?"

--Sayaka didn't recognize the voices at all, and by the time Naegi found her, she was staring at the ground in a daze. Between both voices calling her by first name, and wondering if they were both talking to her at once...well, her tears had stopped, and assuring Naegi was her number one priority. She did everything she could to assure him that she'd be fine--that what she saw had simply stressed her out. It took going into her room to think on it, and...had they known what she was plannin to do? Had she told them? Faces and names escaped her, but the voices...she didn't know why, but it made her feel disgusted by her own thoughts. She couldn't act, she just couldn't.

She wound up going to bed extremely early that night, assisting Naegi throughout the week, and generally trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth.

It wasn't until Monobear passed out those secret that things took another interesting turn. He had been especially displeased with them, giving them so little time to make a move. Her own secret--about the amount of people Sayaka's thrown under the bus to get where she was--was terrifying, but the words of those two voices stuck in her head. Along with another...

"Mondo Oowada."
"W-wait, what?! How could he have--"
"He had not meant to..."

The memory was short this time, unfinished even, and the voice...she recognized it, but she couldn't believe it. The quietest person in the room, and arguably the most coolheaded among them...did she know her in advance?

It took a bit to wish Naegi good night, but Sayaka's night had only begun. She must have mentioned Mondo for a reason--something must have happened with him. She hadn't been one to be out at night before due to the rules in place, but...

Well, she had to do something. She knew that much. Following her intuitions, she went in the direction of the Changing Rooms--she didn't know why she lulled in that direction, honestly. Did she say something else about them? Either way, she catches sight of him--it looks like things were on the money, and she starts to run up.]

Oowada-kun, Oowada-kun! What are you doing out this late at night? It's dangerous!

[...just give her a second to catch her breath, jesus christ--]

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--S-sorry!

[Sayaka's arms go in front of her defensively, shrinking just a bit. She never did deal well with yelling--and she feels her resolve eroding slowly, but she knows she can't let this happen. If she does...

What Kirigiri said will come to pass. Whatever it was, it involves him.]

No, I'm...I have to be worried about the people who look like they can. Even the strongest, most perfect person...they have moments where they're alone and frightened, too. And...um...

[Sayaka fidgets with her bow a little bit, before standing a little stronger.]

Not even I'm exempt from that. S-so...I refuse to believe that you are, too. Please...be honest with me. Are you really going to be okay?

Edited (words) 2016-09-12 03:50 (UTC)

[Her reaction gets him to flinch back a bit and Mondo rubs the back of his neck. He didn't mean to yell at her. She's doing her best to look out for everyone and that's the sort of thing he pulls? Great job, Mondo.

It takes him a moment to find the words he wants and even then they're still a bit too aggressive.]

So... So what, you want me to go back to my room for the night? Is that gonna make you feel better?

[He doesn't have a problem with that, not really. He can always work out tomorrow morning. Admitting that he's not going to be okay isn't something he can do though, because he is strong. He's strong and he's not going to let anything like this get to him because it can't. It won't.

So making it sound like this was her idea and he's doing it to help her settle down is the only thing he can think to do.]

That'd...be preferable, yes, especially if it makes you feel okay, but...

[...she's in over her head, isn't she? Shit. Shit, she's never been good with these situations, but...she has to keep calm, doesn't she? She has to be like the voices--they were so calming, so assuring, and she has to do something. Maybe...maybe if she says something, she'll effect what was said...]

I want you to tell me what you're feeling. For real, please? I...I'm just worried--that if I don't say something...

[...]

My intuitions...they're telling me that if I don't do something, tomorrow, someone's going to be very hurt. I'm not sure what it'll be because of, but...I want to go with it.

[Mondo has no idea what to do with that. He's heard that her intuitions are good and Naegi certainly seems to want to follow them, but this is... strange.]

You're not the Super High School Level Psychic.

[But it's just an observation while he gives himself time to think. Eventually he shakes his head a bit.]

My secret's not something I'm going to share. I don't want it getting out. That doesn't mean I want to kill anyone! But it's... I guess it's been pissing me off a little bit.

[That's a gross understatement, but it's not like he's going to open up and talk about it that easily. He doubts he ever could. He couldn't talk to Ishimaru about it, after all.]

[...That causes her to flinch a little bit, fidgeting with her bow again. Does he think she's weird? The second she turns her back--is he going to get angry with her? Try to hurt her, or someone else? Her mind races, and she winds up blurting her words out with an offended tone.]

--Of course I wouldn't ask you do do that! I wouldn't ask you anything I wasn't willing to do myself!

[Sayaka instantly goes to clamp her mouth.]

S-shoot, I--I'm so sorry, I spoke out of turn, I just--I...I didn't think you were going to kill anyone, I just wanted to...

[...it takes her a few seconds to breathe, going back to that perfected smile and demeanor.]

...I wanted to be sure I understood what you were feeling. Being angry about a situation like this--it's natural, right?

But what comes naturally...it can really hurt you, if you aren't careful.

...Nothing's going to hurt me. I'm strong. I can handle anything that comes my way.

[The emphasis on the word strong is a bit too much, but it's not like it really matters.]

Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll go back to my room. I can put off training until tomorrow.

[He doesn't have to give in, but Mondo doesn't really feel like fighting. He's a bit afraid he'll snap at her again and he'd prefer to avoid that.]

[...Sayaka notes that, in her head. Strong...that was definitely something important, wasn't it?

Either way, Sayaka nods her head.]

That would be for the best. We're going to meet up at breakfast tomorrow, and we can see what a plan of action will be from there.

[Sayaka beams.]

Come on, then. Let's get back to the dorms.

[...because if you think she isn't going to make sure he goes back to his room...]

[Mondo sighs. He figured he wouldn't get away that easily, but he's not exactly bothered by it either.]

Yeah, yeah, alright. If you're this determined to keep everyone following the rules you're going to take kyoudai's title from him.

[It's said jokingly though, of course.]

[She swears if he tries to make a break for it she is pinching his ear and dragging him back.]

Really? I wouldn't want to be rude like that, though--I've already got a career to be dedicated to, after all! Ishimaru-kun is far more deserving of the title than anyone here. He's really dedicated...I kind of admire that about him.

[...she. Kind of took that seriously, oops.]

...I wasn't being serious, you know.

[Even if he was mad, he probably couldn't stay mad. No wonder Naegi really likes Maizono. She's cute and she does things like this. Good taste, Naegi!!]

Kyoudai's just gonna try harder when he hears about this. He'll probably start patrolling the hallways at night or something. Make sure he gets some sleep, yeah?

--Oh! I...I totally knew that, yep!

[...She totally did not know that, and rubs the back of her head with a giggle. She is trying her hardest, dammit, but the air feels much lighter now.]

Don't worry, I promise--I'm nothing if not attentive to other people's needs, after all! And Ishimaru-kun seems like he could use any and all help, so I'll make sure he doesn't overdo it. Idol's honor!

Heh, I'll hold you to that.

[It's probably close enough to a man's promise, right?]

Try to get some sleep tonight. I promise I won't leave my room, so don't think about sitting outside my door all night or anything stupid like that.

[--!!! How did he know she was considering that]

Ho--hey, that's not a nice assumption to make about a girl, you know! [Sayaka pouts a bit.] But okay, as long as you promise. If I hear anything about you breaking it though, I'm gonna tell on you for sure!

Kyoudai would never let me off the hook, do you really think I'm gonna risk that?

[He pauses once he's reached his door though, fumbling in his pockets for his key.]

...You really don't need to worry about me, alright? It's kinda nice that you're trying so hard, but I'll be just fine. I've been through worse.

[He really has, hasn't he? He's not sure he'll actually be fine, but the words are confident and maybe for a night he can actually believe them.]

It's just good to know that he's had such an effect on you, with everything considered. You really are like siblings!

[Well, she's gonna walk on ahead to her door--but she does stop when Mondo speaks turning around to face him.]

...That's why I'm worried the most. Because you're so-- [...] --because of all of that. ...I promise I'll at least try to be a little less overbearing about it. And...sorry, I guess.

[Sayaka bows, politely before starting toward her room again.]

Good night, Oowada-kun.

[It's obvious he doesn't know what to say and he hesitates for long enough that she might have already entered her room and closed the door when he finally speaks up.]

...'Night, Maizono.

[He's got a lot to think about, but for some reason he actually does feel better when he enters his room and gets ready to go to sleep.]

[...so, everything's out now.

Sayaka couldn't believe that she'd succeeded in that regard, really--Kirigiri had been right, then. Something was going to happen with Mondo, and it could have easily lead to something happening. She prevented it. She was doing something right, at least, and that was probably the only thing that helped her keep her sanity when everything came crashing down.

Some of the secrets were embarrassing, but ultimately ineffectual--Sayaka did her best to stand up for Naegi when he got his revealed, but it only got worse from then on. So many other things, reactions, shouting--it was a cacophony of things happening at once, and Sayaka froze up during the things she'd found out. Fujisaki-san truly being Fujisaki-kun, the debt that Ishimaru's family was in, Fukawa's alternate personality...

...Mondo killing his own sibling. She hated that somewhere, deep down, she wouldn't blame him if he was the one who acted. Killing someone like that, whether or not one meant to--it had to hurt, deep down. And it had to hurt especially to hide. It was surprising that Monobear knew so many details about it--just how long has he been stalking them? Enough to know that the brothers were racing, because Mondo wanted to prove himself to his brother. The fact that his brother sacrificed his life, when Mondo could have easily been in his place. It horrifies Sayaka on many levels, but...she doesn't say anything, and averts her gaze throughout.

And then there was her own...

"Sayaka Maizono has ruined the dreams of many young hopefuls to keep her place in the industry! I'd say as many as fourteen people have her to thank for throwing them under the bus! Upupupu...do you really want to trust someone so underhanded to keep the peace around here?"

He'd gone into detail, too--how she'd pay someone to plant cigarettes in a person's bag, spread a little rumor, and watch everything come crashing down. Sometimes she'd spread rumors of someone she particularly disliked being in a relationship--a severe taboo in the industry. Pay off an interviewer here, drag someone's reputation there...she never had to lift a finger. Sayaka had managed to shout that she'd never do something like this here--not to people she wanted to help, but...

Really, she's not surprised that she's being avoided now more than ever. Naegi still talks to her at least, but...it feels forced. Hollow, even--moreso than she's ever felt before.

She hates it, but she has to do something useful. Her first order of business, surprisingly enough, is a note left under Mondo's door a little before nighttime.]

Oowada-kun, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't want you to reveal anything to me at all. I just wanted to help. - Sayaka Maizono

[...And well, with that taken care of...someone has to go patrolling the halls. The nighttime announcement finally goes off, and she starts patrolling. She may just be out to take Ishimaru's title from him--she does go to check the changing rooms again first, mostly to make sure that Mondo isn't out there late at night again. If he isn't, well...there are places to be. Classrooms to check, mostly, and eventually just take a seat in one and stare off into space.

Just what kind of mess was this...]

[No one died. Mondo had secretly wondered what would happen if someone did kill - would that mean none of their secrets would get out? In some horrible, twisted way he had been hoping for that outcome.

But no body was found and Monobear put on a damn show of revealing their secrets one by one. Some of them were stupid things that no one was going to remember in a few days anyway, but he worked his way up to the big ones. Mondo doesn't remember when exactly he had stopped looking at his classmates, but by the end he couldn't bring himself to look up at all. Some of them were hiding pretty big secrets too, but he felt like there wasn't anything that could compare to what he'd done. Monobear had added insult to injury and told the story himself, but Mondo doesn't think he could have told it even if the bear had given him a chance.

Weak. Pathetic. Useless. This was exactly what he deserved. He could barely hold it together in front of them for long enough to escape back to his room. He's never been more relieved that the rooms are soundproof.

Ishimaru has tried to talk to him several times today. Each time he's gotten more and more desperate, but Mondo hasn't responded to the buzzing or the knocking at the door and even though he's listened to Ishimaru's pleas, he can't bring himself to get up off the floor and answer the door. He should probably feel bad about that. No. He should feel bad about that. But he's not strong enough to deal with this, so is it really any surprise that he's hurt someone else he cared about? By now his gang's probably a mess and what the hell can he do from here? It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters anymore.

He's been sitting with his back against the door for hours now, since Ishimaru last begged him to open up. The paper that slides in under the door brushes against the edge of his coat and that's what gets his attention. He's expecting it to be from Ishimaru, but the handwriting is all wrong so he reads it over, trying to focus as best he can.

...Maizono had a pretty nasty secret too, hadn't she? And here she is trying her best to keep anything from happening...

Mondo doesn't remember deciding to get up and open the door. He doesn't remember deciding to search every room to find her either. That decision was made at some point though, and eventually he finds a classroom with Sayaka sitting in a chair like a good little student.

(It's surreal to think about. What if they'd been a normal class? He probably wouldn't be able to stand some of these people as classmates. He and Ishimaru would still be at one another's throats.)

He clears his throat to get her attention, then flops into a chair beside her, kicking his legs up on the desk in front of him.]

...Got your note.

[He's not really sure what to say once that's out there.]

I didn't really think you were trying to push me into talking.

[It's a start, anyway.]

[If there were ever a time for another weird voice in her head, now would have been it as far as she was concerned. Maybe she was in the wrong place? Or maybe it was something else...

A cleared throat distracts Sayaka from her thinking, and she turns to face him while he takes his seat. She was certainly surprised--he'd made a quick getaway once his secret got revealed, and Ishimaru had seemed so forlorn before she sent the note. She half wondered if he was going to become a hikikomori at that point--she wouldn't have blamed him.

She doesn't even bother with the usual sweetness, just shaking her head.]

Mmm. [...] It was still kind of rude of me though, wasn't it? And I don't blame you for wanting to hide something like that.

[...It's something, at least, but Sayaka puts her arms on the table and puts her head down, turning to face him slightly. The obvious thought flies past her mind, but...]

...Did you need a place to relax too? After today, I mean. This is kind of a crummy place to.

I don't think there's any place in this school to relax.

[Mondo folds his arms behind his head and stares up at the ceiling. It's not really interesting, but it's somewhere to look that isn't directly at Sayaka.]

...I just wanted to let you know that you hadn't pissed me off or anything. It'd be pretty shitty of me to leave you worrying about that.

[It's pretty shitty of him to leave Ishimaru worrying too. Ishimaru's probably asleep by now, but maybe he'll drop by later. If he's feeling up to it.]

Point taken.

[That gets a laugh out of her, but it's drier than anyone would probably anticipate. She moves her head so her chin is resting on her arms, staring into the board like it'll give her some kind of answers.

The second bit gets a pause out of Sayaka, at least for a bit.]

...Please tell me you're not just saying that because you feel like you have to. [It...doesn't sound nearly as annoyed as what it probably should be, but Sayaka's never been that good at keeping an edge to her tone.] Thank you for letting me know, though. I was really worried, after we talked last night.

[...]

You really could have gotten hurt, you know.

[Mondo shrugs half-heartedly at Sayaka's words.]

If I was really only doing it because I felt I had to, it could've waited for morning. I did it 'cause I wasn't sure if you were gonna be upset about it all night.

[He doesn't like the idea of upsetting her. He's always had a soft spot for cute girls and Sayaka's as adorable as they come. Well. Appearance-wise she is. She's willing to do some pretty underhanded things to get ahead in her industry, but it's not like he really has any room to judge. He's never had a job at all and he can't imagine what being an idol would be like.

He falls quiet for a moment, but her other statement gets him to look at her.]

...They'd be pretty stupid to pick a fight with me.

[The words are careful though, because he's not stupid enough to ignore the alternative. Even if someone had attacked him, would he really stop himself from killing them? He can't say for sure. He also can't be positive that everything would have been fine. It's possible more time would have passed and he would have decided that the only thing to do was to kill someone.

He hates thinking about it, so he shakes his head to dismiss it.]

Well, uh... Thanks, I guess. For helping. You didn't need to.

[But she went out of her way to look out for him (and probably the others who were still up?) so the least he can do is thank her for it.]

Ah--

[Well. That actually wasn't what Sayaka was expecting to hear at all--she would've expected absolutely nothing to be said, or some sort of non-answer response before that...

...It actually gets her to look at him with a smile that isn't trained.]

...Thank you. That's...really thoughtful, Oowada-kun.

[Sayaka still listens, though, and...well, she thinks about what he says for a moment, and what that voice--Kirigiri's voice, had told her. That there was something he did, but he didn't mean it...did she mean the case, or did she mean the murder of his brother? An inward part of her mind wonders.]

Well...of course they would. But that could be just what Monobear banks on--trying to see if someone will provoke you, to make something happen. Would you put it past him?

[She'll shake her head at the last bit.]

I...I felt like there was something I had to do. But...I also wanted to. I know you're a Super High School Level Rule Breaker sometimes, but... [No, he'll think she's insane, switch--] I rely on my intuitions a lot, you know? What they tell me, I do.

I'm sure that fucking bastard was counting on me... doing something, so I bet he's pretty pissed right now.

[Monobear was counting on him to murder someone. Mondo's pretty damn sure of that.]

...Naegi's mentioned that before. That your intuitions are usually spot-on. Is that what made you chase after me yesterday?

[It starts out as a throwaway comment but by the end it's a genuine question. He doesn't believe in stuff like that, but if Hagakure is here then clearly someone does. Sayaka's not Super High School Level Intuition, but maybe that sort of skill isn't what she's best at. Whatever the reason, it's not something he really wants to completely dismiss.]

When isn't he angry with us, now...

[Really, she's kind of surprised that Monobear hasn't just taken the matter of murder into his own hands or something. That'd be too easy though, wouldn't it? Way too easy. Considering the fact that he only gave them a day to accomplish this motive...

She's not sure why that feels so short. Her expression...quirks, for a few second,s before she focuses on what Mondo has to say. And it...takes her a few seconds to think before she nods.]

Yeah. My intuitions told me that...if I didn't do something--if I didn't make sure that everyone was in their rooms that night, something really bad was going to happen. And...it was probably going to be someone getting killed.

[There's definitely something she isn't saying, if the pauses are anything to go by, but she's quick to move on.]

...Was there a reason you went out last night? And so late, too...

Locked to diamondo

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