Sayaka Maizono (
destage) wrote in
avantgardes2016-09-11 09:29 pm
Locked to
diamondo
[Memories were a strange thing, Sayaka was beginning to find out.
"...That's right. You are, aren't you...? Makoto Naegi, was it?"
"Hey, you two! Your conversation is too long! Are you planning to spend--"
"--all day introducing ourselves? No, of course not! I was just--"
"What?! How did you know what I was going to say?!"
"Ah--didn't I just tell you I had good intuitions?"
Sayaka had frozen up there, definitely taken aback by the first thing that came out of her mouth--she didn't even get the chance to speak to Naegi again before he moved on to Leon, and that was...definitely something that gave her an unintentionally eerie vibe. She was honestly kind of thankful that things were swiftly forgotten once Monobear entered the scene. Everything else that came out of her mouth just felt right at that point--like things were what they were supposed to be.
That sense of normality lasted for a few days, until Monobear decided to get a little creative. There were DVDs--hers, her dearest friends, splayed on the floor with Monobear himself on the monitors. She'd screamed. She ran like her life depended on it, away from everyone who wanted her to say something to them. She couldn't handle it. She ran into the nearest classroom, sitting on a desk and just...stared into nothingness. She had to do something--she had to get out of there, she had to leave at all costs. She'd lose her career if she didn't, right? She had to do something--
"Sayaka, look at who you're talking to. I'm definitely not here to judge your actions. Sometimes life throws you into unfair situations and you do what you must to survive. Or attempt to survive. Though I'm sure you wouldn't have been as eager if you would have known, right?"
"Hey... What're you doing with all that again? Even if you hadn't, someone would've started it up. Blame yourself for... For what happened back home, and Mallick, and you, but not the rest of us. I'm not...saying you didn't screw up. I'll never do that. But like, it's not fair, you know?"
--Sayaka didn't recognize the voices at all, and by the time Naegi found her, she was staring at the ground in a daze. Between both voices calling her by first name, and wondering if they were both talking to her at once...well, her tears had stopped, and assuring Naegi was her number one priority. She did everything she could to assure him that she'd be fine--that what she saw had simply stressed her out. It took going into her room to think on it, and...had they known what she was plannin to do? Had she told them? Faces and names escaped her, but the voices...she didn't know why, but it made her feel disgusted by her own thoughts. She couldn't act, she just couldn't.
She wound up going to bed extremely early that night, assisting Naegi throughout the week, and generally trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth.
It wasn't until Monobear passed out those secret that things took another interesting turn. He had been especially displeased with them, giving them so little time to make a move. Her own secret--about the amount of people Sayaka's thrown under the bus to get where she was--was terrifying, but the words of those two voices stuck in her head. Along with another...
"Mondo Oowada."
"W-wait, what?! How could he have--"
"He had not meant to..."
The memory was short this time, unfinished even, and the voice...she recognized it, but she couldn't believe it. The quietest person in the room, and arguably the most coolheaded among them...did she know her in advance?
It took a bit to wish Naegi good night, but Sayaka's night had only begun. She must have mentioned Mondo for a reason--something must have happened with him. She hadn't been one to be out at night before due to the rules in place, but...
Well, she had to do something. She knew that much. Following her intuitions, she went in the direction of the Changing Rooms--she didn't know why she lulled in that direction, honestly. Did she say something else about them? Either way, she catches sight of him--it looks like things were on the money, and she starts to run up.]
Oowada-kun, Oowada-kun! What are you doing out this late at night? It's dangerous!
[...just give her a second to catch her breath, jesus christ--]
"...That's right. You are, aren't you...? Makoto Naegi, was it?"
"Hey, you two! Your conversation is too long! Are you planning to spend--"
"--all day introducing ourselves? No, of course not! I was just--"
"What?! How did you know what I was going to say?!"
"Ah--didn't I just tell you I had good intuitions?"
Sayaka had frozen up there, definitely taken aback by the first thing that came out of her mouth--she didn't even get the chance to speak to Naegi again before he moved on to Leon, and that was...definitely something that gave her an unintentionally eerie vibe. She was honestly kind of thankful that things were swiftly forgotten once Monobear entered the scene. Everything else that came out of her mouth just felt right at that point--like things were what they were supposed to be.
That sense of normality lasted for a few days, until Monobear decided to get a little creative. There were DVDs--hers, her dearest friends, splayed on the floor with Monobear himself on the monitors. She'd screamed. She ran like her life depended on it, away from everyone who wanted her to say something to them. She couldn't handle it. She ran into the nearest classroom, sitting on a desk and just...stared into nothingness. She had to do something--she had to get out of there, she had to leave at all costs. She'd lose her career if she didn't, right? She had to do something--
"Sayaka, look at who you're talking to. I'm definitely not here to judge your actions. Sometimes life throws you into unfair situations and you do what you must to survive. Or attempt to survive. Though I'm sure you wouldn't have been as eager if you would have known, right?"
"Hey... What're you doing with all that again? Even if you hadn't, someone would've started it up. Blame yourself for... For what happened back home, and Mallick, and you, but not the rest of us. I'm not...saying you didn't screw up. I'll never do that. But like, it's not fair, you know?"
--Sayaka didn't recognize the voices at all, and by the time Naegi found her, she was staring at the ground in a daze. Between both voices calling her by first name, and wondering if they were both talking to her at once...well, her tears had stopped, and assuring Naegi was her number one priority. She did everything she could to assure him that she'd be fine--that what she saw had simply stressed her out. It took going into her room to think on it, and...had they known what she was plannin to do? Had she told them? Faces and names escaped her, but the voices...she didn't know why, but it made her feel disgusted by her own thoughts. She couldn't act, she just couldn't.
She wound up going to bed extremely early that night, assisting Naegi throughout the week, and generally trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth.
It wasn't until Monobear passed out those secret that things took another interesting turn. He had been especially displeased with them, giving them so little time to make a move. Her own secret--about the amount of people Sayaka's thrown under the bus to get where she was--was terrifying, but the words of those two voices stuck in her head. Along with another...
"Mondo Oowada."
"W-wait, what?! How could he have--"
"He had not meant to..."
The memory was short this time, unfinished even, and the voice...she recognized it, but she couldn't believe it. The quietest person in the room, and arguably the most coolheaded among them...did she know her in advance?
It took a bit to wish Naegi good night, but Sayaka's night had only begun. She must have mentioned Mondo for a reason--something must have happened with him. She hadn't been one to be out at night before due to the rules in place, but...
Well, she had to do something. She knew that much. Following her intuitions, she went in the direction of the Changing Rooms--she didn't know why she lulled in that direction, honestly. Did she say something else about them? Either way, she catches sight of him--it looks like things were on the money, and she starts to run up.]
Oowada-kun, Oowada-kun! What are you doing out this late at night? It's dangerous!
[...just give her a second to catch her breath, jesus christ--]

no subject
The words have been rolling around in his head since he opened the envelope, but he knew what the incentive would contain even before reading it. Maybe it would've been better if he hadn't read it. He can't say for sure, but he's kept the envelope on him since then. Occasionally he reaches into his pocket to make sure it's still there. Double and triple-checking that it exists hasn't done anything to ease his worries any. It's only a matter of time before Monobear makes good on his word and everyone hears about their secrets. And when that happens...
It's better not to think about it.
Mondo had been heading to the changing rooms to work out for awhile - hopefully it would get rid of all the terrible thoughts this motive has brought with it - but he honestly isn't expecting much. He definitely isn't expecting a voice to call for him and he turns slightly.]
...Maizono?
[Of all people he wasn't expecting her. It's late at night and she's seemed so stressed out by the motives, what is she doing out here? The obvious solution isn't one he considers.]
I was just heading to work out for awhile. You don't need to be worried about me.
[The only person he'd have a problem with here is Oogami, but there's no way he'll get into a fight with her.]
no subject
I'm surprised you can say that, after what Monobear just said.
[It isn't meant chidingly--she sounds irritated, that can definitely be said, but but her expression is far more serious than what might be warranted.]
Of course I'm going to be worried. You're out here late at night, by yourself, with a motive like that hanging over everyone's head? Oowada-kun, I'm confident that you can stand up to anything, but...
You shouldn't be out here right now. Someone could try to hurt you.
no subject
That's right. He's strong. He can handle this. He's strong.
Strong strong strong strong strong strong...]
I'd think they'd know better than to try in the first place. I'm the Super High School Level Gang Leader for a reason and anyone who doesn't believe that's gonna get a fuckin' fist in their face.
[...]
But uh, really, you don't have to be all that worried about me. I'm okay.
[Of course he is. Of course he is.]
no subject
[At this point, she knows she's gonna sound like Ishimaru here. She's certain of it, but her look doesn't change too much. She doesn't know why she's fighting so hard, but Kyouko brought up his name for a reason. If she doesn't say something now, she might never get the chance--]
I'm sorry, I don't believe you. No one's okay after receiving those, and I'm not--I can't just sit by and entertain the possibility of something happening. We have to take some kind of preventative measure...
Please, will you listen to me? I don't want something to happen to you. If there's anything I can do...
no subject
[Ishimaru did, and even though Ishimaru's his brother now, that doesn't mean he has to follow the rules.]
And besides, it's not like the rules are that important. I'm pretty sure there are a few people who aren't following them. And... No one's gonna kill anyway, right?
[He shakes his head once that's out there. He doesn't need confirmation of it. No one's killed so far, so they'll be fine. If the first motive couldn't break them, this one won't either.
(It'll break his gang. What are they going to do—)]
Look, I'll be careful, alright? But if you're gonna be worried about anyone, it should probably be someone who can't take care of themselves as easily.
no subject
[Sayaka's arms go in front of her defensively, shrinking just a bit. She never did deal well with yelling--and she feels her resolve eroding slowly, but she knows she can't let this happen. If she does...
What Kirigiri said will come to pass. Whatever it was, it involves him.]
No, I'm...I have to be worried about the people who look like they can. Even the strongest, most perfect person...they have moments where they're alone and frightened, too. And...um...
[Sayaka fidgets with her bow a little bit, before standing a little stronger.]
Not even I'm exempt from that. S-so...I refuse to believe that you are, too. Please...be honest with me. Are you really going to be okay?
no subject
It takes him a moment to find the words he wants and even then they're still a bit too aggressive.]
So... So what, you want me to go back to my room for the night? Is that gonna make you feel better?
[He doesn't have a problem with that, not really. He can always work out tomorrow morning. Admitting that he's not going to be okay isn't something he can do though, because he is strong. He's strong and he's not going to let anything like this get to him because it can't. It won't.
So making it sound like this was her idea and he's doing it to help her settle down is the only thing he can think to do.]
no subject
[...she's in over her head, isn't she? Shit. Shit, she's never been good with these situations, but...she has to keep calm, doesn't she? She has to be like the voices--they were so calming, so assuring, and she has to do something. Maybe...maybe if she says something, she'll effect what was said...]
I want you to tell me what you're feeling. For real, please? I...I'm just worried--that if I don't say something...
[...]
My intuitions...they're telling me that if I don't do something, tomorrow, someone's going to be very hurt. I'm not sure what it'll be because of, but...I want to go with it.
no subject
You're not the Super High School Level Psychic.
[But it's just an observation while he gives himself time to think. Eventually he shakes his head a bit.]
My secret's not something I'm going to share. I don't want it getting out. That doesn't mean I want to kill anyone! But it's... I guess it's been pissing me off a little bit.
[That's a gross understatement, but it's not like he's going to open up and talk about it that easily. He doubts he ever could. He couldn't talk to Ishimaru about it, after all.]
no subject
--Of course I wouldn't ask you do do that! I wouldn't ask you anything I wasn't willing to do myself!
[Sayaka instantly goes to clamp her mouth.]
S-shoot, I--I'm so sorry, I spoke out of turn, I just--I...I didn't think you were going to kill anyone, I just wanted to...
[...it takes her a few seconds to breathe, going back to that perfected smile and demeanor.]
...I wanted to be sure I understood what you were feeling. Being angry about a situation like this--it's natural, right?
But what comes naturally...it can really hurt you, if you aren't careful.
no subject
[The emphasis on the word strong is a bit too much, but it's not like it really matters.]
Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll go back to my room. I can put off training until tomorrow.
[He doesn't have to give in, but Mondo doesn't really feel like fighting. He's a bit afraid he'll snap at her again and he'd prefer to avoid that.]
no subject
Either way, Sayaka nods her head.]
That would be for the best. We're going to meet up at breakfast tomorrow, and we can see what a plan of action will be from there.
[Sayaka beams.]
Come on, then. Let's get back to the dorms.
[...because if you think she isn't going to make sure he goes back to his room...]
no subject
Yeah, yeah, alright. If you're this determined to keep everyone following the rules you're going to take kyoudai's title from him.
[It's said jokingly though, of course.]
no subject
Really? I wouldn't want to be rude like that, though--I've already got a career to be dedicated to, after all! Ishimaru-kun is far more deserving of the title than anyone here. He's really dedicated...I kind of admire that about him.
[...she. Kind of took that seriously, oops.]
no subject
[Even if he was mad, he probably couldn't stay mad. No wonder Naegi really likes Maizono. She's cute and she does things like this. Good taste, Naegi!!]
Kyoudai's just gonna try harder when he hears about this. He'll probably start patrolling the hallways at night or something. Make sure he gets some sleep, yeah?
no subject
[...She totally did not know that, and rubs the back of her head with a giggle. She is trying her hardest, dammit, but the air feels much lighter now.]
Don't worry, I promise--I'm nothing if not attentive to other people's needs, after all! And Ishimaru-kun seems like he could use any and all help, so I'll make sure he doesn't overdo it. Idol's honor!
no subject
[It's probably close enough to a man's promise, right?]
Try to get some sleep tonight. I promise I won't leave my room, so don't think about sitting outside my door all night or anything stupid like that.
no subject
Ho--hey, that's not a nice assumption to make about a girl, you know! [Sayaka pouts a bit.] But okay, as long as you promise. If I hear anything about you breaking it though, I'm gonna tell on you for sure!
no subject
[He pauses once he's reached his door though, fumbling in his pockets for his key.]
...You really don't need to worry about me, alright? It's kinda nice that you're trying so hard, but I'll be just fine. I've been through worse.
[He really has, hasn't he? He's not sure he'll actually be fine, but the words are confident and maybe for a night he can actually believe them.]
no subject
[Well, she's gonna walk on ahead to her door--but she does stop when Mondo speaks turning around to face him.]
...That's why I'm worried the most. Because you're so-- [...] --because of all of that. ...I promise I'll at least try to be a little less overbearing about it. And...sorry, I guess.
[Sayaka bows, politely before starting toward her room again.]
Good night, Oowada-kun.
no subject
...'Night, Maizono.
[He's got a lot to think about, but for some reason he actually does feel better when he enters his room and gets ready to go to sleep.]
no subject
Sayaka couldn't believe that she'd succeeded in that regard, really--Kirigiri had been right, then. Something was going to happen with Mondo, and it could have easily lead to something happening. She prevented it. She was doing something right, at least, and that was probably the only thing that helped her keep her sanity when everything came crashing down.
Some of the secrets were embarrassing, but ultimately ineffectual--Sayaka did her best to stand up for Naegi when he got his revealed, but it only got worse from then on. So many other things, reactions, shouting--it was a cacophony of things happening at once, and Sayaka froze up during the things she'd found out. Fujisaki-san truly being Fujisaki-kun, the debt that Ishimaru's family was in, Fukawa's alternate personality...
...Mondo killing his own sibling. She hated that somewhere, deep down, she wouldn't blame him if he was the one who acted. Killing someone like that, whether or not one meant to--it had to hurt, deep down. And it had to hurt especially to hide. It was surprising that Monobear knew so many details about it--just how long has he been stalking them? Enough to know that the brothers were racing, because Mondo wanted to prove himself to his brother. The fact that his brother sacrificed his life, when Mondo could have easily been in his place. It horrifies Sayaka on many levels, but...she doesn't say anything, and averts her gaze throughout.
And then there was her own...
"Sayaka Maizono has ruined the dreams of many young hopefuls to keep her place in the industry! I'd say as many as fourteen people have her to thank for throwing them under the bus! Upupupu...do you really want to trust someone so underhanded to keep the peace around here?"
He'd gone into detail, too--how she'd pay someone to plant cigarettes in a person's bag, spread a little rumor, and watch everything come crashing down. Sometimes she'd spread rumors of someone she particularly disliked being in a relationship--a severe taboo in the industry. Pay off an interviewer here, drag someone's reputation there...she never had to lift a finger. Sayaka had managed to shout that she'd never do something like this here--not to people she wanted to help, but...
Really, she's not surprised that she's being avoided now more than ever. Naegi still talks to her at least, but...it feels forced. Hollow, even--moreso than she's ever felt before.
She hates it, but she has to do something useful. Her first order of business, surprisingly enough, is a note left under Mondo's door a little before nighttime.]
Oowada-kun,
I'm sorry about last night. I didn't want you to reveal anything to me at all. I just wanted to help.
- Sayaka Maizono
[...And well, with that taken care of...someone has to go patrolling the halls. The nighttime announcement finally goes off, and she starts patrolling. She may just be out to take Ishimaru's title from him--she does go to check the changing rooms again first, mostly to make sure that Mondo isn't out there late at night again. If he isn't, well...there are places to be. Classrooms to check, mostly, and eventually just take a seat in one and stare off into space.
Just what kind of mess was this...]
no subject
But no body was found and Monobear put on a damn show of revealing their secrets one by one. Some of them were stupid things that no one was going to remember in a few days anyway, but he worked his way up to the big ones. Mondo doesn't remember when exactly he had stopped looking at his classmates, but by the end he couldn't bring himself to look up at all. Some of them were hiding pretty big secrets too, but he felt like there wasn't anything that could compare to what he'd done. Monobear had added insult to injury and told the story himself, but Mondo doesn't think he could have told it even if the bear had given him a chance.
Weak. Pathetic. Useless. This was exactly what he deserved. He could barely hold it together in front of them for long enough to escape back to his room. He's never been more relieved that the rooms are soundproof.
Ishimaru has tried to talk to him several times today. Each time he's gotten more and more desperate, but Mondo hasn't responded to the buzzing or the knocking at the door and even though he's listened to Ishimaru's pleas, he can't bring himself to get up off the floor and answer the door. He should probably feel bad about that. No. He should feel bad about that. But he's not strong enough to deal with this, so is it really any surprise that he's hurt someone else he cared about? By now his gang's probably a mess and what the hell can he do from here? It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters anymore.
He's been sitting with his back against the door for hours now, since Ishimaru last begged him to open up. The paper that slides in under the door brushes against the edge of his coat and that's what gets his attention. He's expecting it to be from Ishimaru, but the handwriting is all wrong so he reads it over, trying to focus as best he can.
...Maizono had a pretty nasty secret too, hadn't she? And here she is trying her best to keep anything from happening...
Mondo doesn't remember deciding to get up and open the door. He doesn't remember deciding to search every room to find her either. That decision was made at some point though, and eventually he finds a classroom with Sayaka sitting in a chair like a good little student.
(It's surreal to think about. What if they'd been a normal class? He probably wouldn't be able to stand some of these people as classmates. He and Ishimaru would still be at one another's throats.)
He clears his throat to get her attention, then flops into a chair beside her, kicking his legs up on the desk in front of him.]
...Got your note.
[He's not really sure what to say once that's out there.]
I didn't really think you were trying to push me into talking.
[It's a start, anyway.]
no subject
A cleared throat distracts Sayaka from her thinking, and she turns to face him while he takes his seat. She was certainly surprised--he'd made a quick getaway once his secret got revealed, and Ishimaru had seemed so forlorn before she sent the note. She half wondered if he was going to become a hikikomori at that point--she wouldn't have blamed him.
She doesn't even bother with the usual sweetness, just shaking her head.]
Mmm. [...] It was still kind of rude of me though, wasn't it? And I don't blame you for wanting to hide something like that.
[...It's something, at least, but Sayaka puts her arms on the table and puts her head down, turning to face him slightly. The obvious thought flies past her mind, but...]
...Did you need a place to relax too? After today, I mean. This is kind of a crummy place to.
no subject
[Mondo folds his arms behind his head and stares up at the ceiling. It's not really interesting, but it's somewhere to look that isn't directly at Sayaka.]
...I just wanted to let you know that you hadn't pissed me off or anything. It'd be pretty shitty of me to leave you worrying about that.
[It's pretty shitty of him to leave Ishimaru worrying too. Ishimaru's probably asleep by now, but maybe he'll drop by later. If he's feeling up to it.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)